Walking in Faith and Finding My True Path

Before I begin my thoughts, I would like to clarify as this is my exact experience that I have faced. It might trigger some party but I have shared on my concern and my journeys. Also I’m dignified and professional enough to not Name any person or parties name on my thoughts. So don’t find and fall in trap by your own and accusing me for my unintentional actions. Well let’s begin: 

It was sometime in 2024 when I first joined an NGO in kajang town under the gentle guidance of my aunt. Both of us were searching for a place where faith and service intertwined, a space where our devotional connection could grow stronger. At first, I kept mostly to myself, spending time with my cousin and observing everything quietly.

Over time, I began to get to know the head of the NGO and his wife . They were kind, humble, and truly inspiring. Their leadership radiated warmth and wisdom. With their encouragement, I became more involved , joining youth programs, helping in activities, and slowly taking up responsibilities. Each small task gave me peace, joy, and a sense of purpose.

However, I also began to notice divisions among the youth groups small misunderstandings and separations that made it hard for everyone to truly unite. Still, I tried to stay focused on my faith and the good I could do.

A Sudden Change

About nine months ago, things changed unexpectedly when the head and his wife were transferred. I was heartbroken. They had been my spiritual mentors and the foundation of my involvement. Still, I decided to move forward within the new structure, trusting that God had a reason for every change.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5–6

Struggles with the New Leadership

As time passed, I realized that the new management had a completely different approach. Their way of running things didn’t align with the peaceful and inclusive atmosphere I once knew. I tried my best to adapt, but my heart grew heavier with every new “rule” and unspoken judgment.

Some members in leadership I often referred to as the “4 White House” began questioning my faith simply because I didn’t fit into their narrow idea of “biblical character.” They indirectly criticized me during Sunday assemblies, using the pulpit not to uplift, but to condemn. That was when I felt my faith being tested.

Faith, Culture, and Identity

Being an Indian Christian, I’ve always believed that faith and culture can coexist beautifully. But I was told not to wear my traditional attire, not to dance to my traditional music, and even asked to tell my parents not to wear earrings, nose rings, or bindis.

That broke my heart.

Faith should never erase culture it should enrich it. Christianity is about the transformation of the heart, not the rejection of our roots. I firmly believe that God looks at the heart, not our appearance or culture.

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height... The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’”

1 Samuel 1

# When Questions Become a Threat

One of the most painful parts was realizing that asking questions was not welcomed.

Every time I tried to seek clarity  with sincerity and respect  I was indirectly targeted in public sermons. It felt like curiosity was seen as rebellion. But to me, asking questions is an act of faith  a sign that I want to understand God’s Word deeply, not blindly follow.

“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”

Proverbs 4:7

#A Difficult but Peaceful Decision

On 5th October 2025, after much prayer and reflection, I decided to cut ties with the NGO. It was not out of anger or pride, but out of a deep desire to protect my faith, my identity, and my peace. I also requested that my pictures not be used for promotional purposes, as I didn’t want my name to represent something that no longer aligned with my beliefs.

The truth is, when leadership loses its purpose, double standards begin to emerge. People forget the essence of service and start prioritizing hierarchy over humility.

I realized that walking away wasn’t a failure it was an act of courage. Sometimes, leaving is the only way to stay true to yourself and to God.

“For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”

Mark 8:36

#Moving Forward

I’ve learned that faith is a personal journey. God gives us wisdom not to stay silent but to seek truth. He gives us strength not to fit into a box but to stand firm in love and authenticity.

Now, I’m choosing to walk a new path  one that allows me to grow spiritually, freely, and truthfully. I believe there are many more opportunities out there, and with God’s grace, I’ll find a community that values both faith and respect for diversity.

“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delighteth in his way.”

Psalm 37:23

Final Thought:

When an organization begins to silence your questions and challenge your identity, it’s no longer a space for growth. As believers, we are called to walk in truth, love, and wisdom. Sometimes, stepping away is not walking away from faith it’s walking toward it.

🌿 Final Reflections: Wisdom Through Questions and Grace Through Faith

As I close this chapter of my journey, I want to leave a message for all my fellow believers and young hearts walking in faith:

Never stop asking questions.

Questions are not a sign of doubt  they are a sign of growth and desire for truth. When we ask, we open the door to wisdom. God Himself invites us to seek understanding, not to live in confusion. It is written:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

James 1:5

Through asking, we learn. Through seeking, we discover. Through knocking, the door opens. (Matthew 7:7)

So, no matter where you are in your faith, don’t be afraid to question, to explore, and to understand why you believe what you believe. Wisdom is born when curiosity meets humility.

🌸 Be Heaven-Focused, Not Judgment-Focused

I know that deep down, every believer’s ultimate goal is to reach Heaven the eternal home where there’s no pain, no tears, and no division. But while we live on this earth, we must remember that the world is not always kind. There will be misunderstandings, pride, and conflicts even within places meant to be spiritual.

Still, that doesn’t mean we lose hope. Instead, we must work faithfully each day, preparing ourselves for the day of judgment by doing good, staying humble, and loving others sincerely.

“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.”

2 Corinthians 5:10

But as we grow spiritually, let’s also guard our hearts against self-righteousness. Sometimes, in trying to be too spiritual, people begin to judge others forgetting that judgment belongs only to God.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged.”

Matthew 7:1–2

Being spiritual doesn’t mean looking down on others or measuring their faith by appearances. True spirituality is about compassion, forgiveness, and love. Jesus showed this when He sat with the sinners, healed the broken, and loved those the world rejected.

 🌼 A Gentle Reminder

We live in a world that can be cruel, where truth is sometimes twisted and love is conditional. But as believers, we are called to shine differently. Let’s hold on to wisdom, humility, and grace.

If your path becomes heavy, remember God values your heart more than your status.

If your faith is questioned, remember truth doesn’t fear questions.

And if you ever feel alone in your walk, remember God’s presence is your greatest company.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.”

Proverbs 9:10

So, to everyone reading my blog today 

Keep asking, keep growing, keep believing.

Don’t let the world harden your heart, and don’t let spiritual pride cloud your compassion.

Let your faith be your strength, your culture be your beauty, and your questions be your path to wisdom.

Because at the end of the day we’re all walking toward the same Heaven, and only God can truly judge the heart.

Thank for reading and be wise because god’s with you

Joel Jackson 🖤